ZOMBIES!!! (pt3): "Sensible People Die....."
How the heck do the people in zombie movies always get surprised when they run into the exact center of a group of zombies and then can't get back out? It's mind boggling how they manage to find the EXACT spot that makes it almost impossible to get back out no matter which side they turn to!
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"Oh hey, i'm just gonna run into this HUGE crowd of zombies we have here, stop dead in the center then fruitlessly spin in circles while they close in....."
"What? You wanna go AROUND the crowd of zombies?!!! WE CAN'T DO THAT!!!!! Easier to take the shortest course right through them!"
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Some situations are understandable since we all know through personal experience, fate will always make EVERYTHING harder.
We've all had the sitation where you're late for work, and you might BARELY make it. You pull out onto the road, and everything looks good until all of the traffic lights decide to play "Catch the Car" with you.
However, not ALL situations are as understandable. We've all known for a long time that in zombie movies (and other horror movies in general), people just DON'T take the sensible route. In fact, anyone who does (and isn't the main character) is instantly killed by some very odd circumstances.
For instance, Group A is trying to get to the other side of a parking lot where a building of safety is located.
However, the front door has a large number of zombies amassed in front of it and it looks like they're hungry for some fresh meat. At this point someone needs to make a decision on what group A is going to do next.
The "bad" leader of the group (a.k.a the moron that leads and makes numerous bad decisions until the actual leader finally speaks up) is saying they should shoot their way to the door, and barricade it behind them.
Jane (an intelligent and commonly sultry looking woman) stops everyone and points out that there is a back exit. This back exit appears to be devoid of zombies, so she deduces they should simply run around the gaggle of braingummers at the front door, and rush in.
UH OH! it appears Jane is the sensible person of the movie!!
There is a flash from the top of the building and one of the party is killed instantly by the high powered (and oddly accurate) rifle round. Can we guess who it is?!!!!......... *drumroll*
JANE!
Her lifeless body falls to the asphalt as the rest of the members of the group go into a state of panic.
Half of the group dies as they run blindly into the mass of zombies at the front door.
The other half, containing the main characters and those slated to die at a later time, manage to make it for the back door that was pointed out by none other than....*trumpet fanfare*
JANE!
*cheers for the sensible dead person* (and don't worry, since this is a movie, that back door just happened to be unlocked and ready for a non-zombified person to open it!)
Yeap! So next time you see any zombie movise, be on the lookout for the sensible person. They're guaranteed to die in an intersting way!
==========================
"Oh hey, i'm just gonna run into this HUGE crowd of zombies we have here, stop dead in the center then fruitlessly spin in circles while they close in....."
"What? You wanna go AROUND the crowd of zombies?!!! WE CAN'T DO THAT!!!!! Easier to take the shortest course right through them!"
==========================
Some situations are understandable since we all know through personal experience, fate will always make EVERYTHING harder.
We've all had the sitation where you're late for work, and you might BARELY make it. You pull out onto the road, and everything looks good until all of the traffic lights decide to play "Catch the Car" with you.
However, not ALL situations are as understandable. We've all known for a long time that in zombie movies (and other horror movies in general), people just DON'T take the sensible route. In fact, anyone who does (and isn't the main character) is instantly killed by some very odd circumstances.
For instance, Group A is trying to get to the other side of a parking lot where a building of safety is located.
However, the front door has a large number of zombies amassed in front of it and it looks like they're hungry for some fresh meat. At this point someone needs to make a decision on what group A is going to do next.
The "bad" leader of the group (a.k.a the moron that leads and makes numerous bad decisions until the actual leader finally speaks up) is saying they should shoot their way to the door, and barricade it behind them.
Jane (an intelligent and commonly sultry looking woman) stops everyone and points out that there is a back exit. This back exit appears to be devoid of zombies, so she deduces they should simply run around the gaggle of braingummers at the front door, and rush in.
UH OH! it appears Jane is the sensible person of the movie!!
There is a flash from the top of the building and one of the party is killed instantly by the high powered (and oddly accurate) rifle round. Can we guess who it is?!!!!......... *drumroll*
JANE!
Her lifeless body falls to the asphalt as the rest of the members of the group go into a state of panic.
Half of the group dies as they run blindly into the mass of zombies at the front door.
The other half, containing the main characters and those slated to die at a later time, manage to make it for the back door that was pointed out by none other than....*trumpet fanfare*
JANE!
*cheers for the sensible dead person* (and don't worry, since this is a movie, that back door just happened to be unlocked and ready for a non-zombified person to open it!)
Yeap! So next time you see any zombie movise, be on the lookout for the sensible person. They're guaranteed to die in an intersting way!
posted by Hakai at
10:31 AM
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