Snack Addiction: Sunflower Seeds
As i write this entry, my tongue feels like i dragged it through 20 miles of Desert Sand while i attempt to spit out the empty husk of yet another successfully extracted Sunflower Seed. You'd think that having my tongue hurt from repeated exposure to salt and abrasion would make me stop, right? I'd like to stop, lord knows my tongue needs a rest, but I just.... can't.....stop...... reloading! *cries in anguish*
I'm currently munching on the second half of a bag of Frito-lay sunflower seeds. These are usually picked up by the pair for the joint price of $1 at the same store that i buy all of my beloved bags of Corn Nuts.......Yes i speak of that golden gift from god for snack dwellers..... good ole 7-11.
I've noticed that i seem to have a kind of focus on the type of foods that i like to snack on. Most often they are salty, and make nice crunching sounds when they are either chewed, or opened. (pistachios fit into this category of course, but man that posting is going to be a fricking 50 page asskisser on the glory of the pistacho. f34r the nut!) .
When i thought about this, i was reminded of something a friend of mine said to me at my old job as a Mail Runner (long story for later. *grin*)
We were chatting about the types of food that we liked to eat, and commenting about how tons of people seem to have a wicked sweet tooth. (Editor's note: this is evident in the obscene amount of sweet items that are prevalent during work celebrated "birthdays". At the last three outings the cakes were always fricking huge and had a mixture of chocolate, chocolate chunk, and triple chocolate bunnions to make your teeth fall out before you even look at the damn thing. )
While we were talking about this we both agreed that having sweet stuff ALL the time just didn't fill that craving in the pit of our stomachs reserved for yummy snacks. I didn't know exactly know how to phrase what type of foods i liked, and as i sputtered along talking about how I liked to snack on foods like potato chips, pretzels, and nuts. She perked up and said "That means you're a Crunchy Munchie!" It took me a good second to soak in what she just said to me, but after realization set in i felt like i had been sucker punched by common sense. "HOLY SHIT!!! I AM!!!!!!" was the only dignified response i could think of at the time. (sorry, i was REALLY hungry).
To this day i live by the title of Crunchie Munchie like a badge of honor, and couldn't believe how accurate it was!
But back to the point of Sunflower Seeds, since they're supposed to be the focus of this posting.
What is just so fun about eating sunflower seeds?
In all honesty it's an awful amount of work to get to a nut the size of a bb, and which often likes to stick itself into the hollows of your molars so that you need a toothpick just to finish eating it. (and trying to ignore it will only make it worse)
As you delve deeper into a bag of sunflower seeds, you start to feel VERY thirsty, and your tongue (as i mentioned earlier) feels like it's been dragged through moisture sucking terrain.
As you get to the bottom half of the bag, you start to feel like there are several life stealing lacerations inside of your mouth (read: lots of cuts that sting like fricking hell).
Near the very end of the bag, you have problems talking as your swollen lips and tongue try to futilely form functional words. We torture ourselves for such a small reward because it's so fricking good!
Unlike CornNuts, i don't spend most of my waking work moments thinking about sunflower seeds. However, i just can't seem to stop after starting on a fresh bag. As we speak, i just finished half of the half of the bag i was munching on while i was typing this posting! (editor's note: god my tongue is starting to feel like i ate some glass and decided to lick some sandpaper for fun.)
Stop if you can, but don't eat that LAST seed that you just have to eat before stopping.
The moment "The Last Seed (tm)" is cracked open, and you start chewing on that nut, you're instantly given renewed fevor for more sunflower seeds!
Eat at your own risk!!
Hak's Crunchy Munchie rating: Fucking awesome (but it frickin hurts too!)
I'm currently munching on the second half of a bag of Frito-lay sunflower seeds. These are usually picked up by the pair for the joint price of $1 at the same store that i buy all of my beloved bags of Corn Nuts.......Yes i speak of that golden gift from god for snack dwellers..... good ole 7-11.
I've noticed that i seem to have a kind of focus on the type of foods that i like to snack on. Most often they are salty, and make nice crunching sounds when they are either chewed, or opened. (pistachios fit into this category of course, but man that posting is going to be a fricking 50 page asskisser on the glory of the pistacho. f34r the nut!) .
When i thought about this, i was reminded of something a friend of mine said to me at my old job as a Mail Runner (long story for later. *grin*)
We were chatting about the types of food that we liked to eat, and commenting about how tons of people seem to have a wicked sweet tooth. (Editor's note: this is evident in the obscene amount of sweet items that are prevalent during work celebrated "birthdays". At the last three outings the cakes were always fricking huge and had a mixture of chocolate, chocolate chunk, and triple chocolate bunnions to make your teeth fall out before you even look at the damn thing. )
While we were talking about this we both agreed that having sweet stuff ALL the time just didn't fill that craving in the pit of our stomachs reserved for yummy snacks. I didn't know exactly know how to phrase what type of foods i liked, and as i sputtered along talking about how I liked to snack on foods like potato chips, pretzels, and nuts. She perked up and said "That means you're a Crunchy Munchie!" It took me a good second to soak in what she just said to me, but after realization set in i felt like i had been sucker punched by common sense. "HOLY SHIT!!! I AM!!!!!!" was the only dignified response i could think of at the time. (sorry, i was REALLY hungry).
To this day i live by the title of Crunchie Munchie like a badge of honor, and couldn't believe how accurate it was!
But back to the point of Sunflower Seeds, since they're supposed to be the focus of this posting.
What is just so fun about eating sunflower seeds?
In all honesty it's an awful amount of work to get to a nut the size of a bb, and which often likes to stick itself into the hollows of your molars so that you need a toothpick just to finish eating it. (and trying to ignore it will only make it worse)
As you delve deeper into a bag of sunflower seeds, you start to feel VERY thirsty, and your tongue (as i mentioned earlier) feels like it's been dragged through moisture sucking terrain.
As you get to the bottom half of the bag, you start to feel like there are several life stealing lacerations inside of your mouth (read: lots of cuts that sting like fricking hell).
Near the very end of the bag, you have problems talking as your swollen lips and tongue try to futilely form functional words. We torture ourselves for such a small reward because it's so fricking good!
Unlike CornNuts, i don't spend most of my waking work moments thinking about sunflower seeds. However, i just can't seem to stop after starting on a fresh bag. As we speak, i just finished half of the half of the bag i was munching on while i was typing this posting! (editor's note: god my tongue is starting to feel like i ate some glass and decided to lick some sandpaper for fun.)
Stop if you can, but don't eat that LAST seed that you just have to eat before stopping.
The moment "The Last Seed (tm)" is cracked open, and you start chewing on that nut, you're instantly given renewed fevor for more sunflower seeds!
Eat at your own risk!!
Hak's Crunchy Munchie rating: Fucking awesome (but it frickin hurts too!)
posted by Hakai at
11:59 AM
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4 comments
