Cuts like a sword

“Considerable stress is usually obtained from the actions of others upon one’s self.”

Earlier today I was in an impromptu meeting in which my supervisor continued to interrupt me while I was trying to make a point clear.  

This happened on no less than 2 occasions.  

I spent the rest of this “bullshit session” promptly staring up at the ceiling and in random directions.  To honestly say, I really didn’t give a shit about the rest of the conversation once I realized that I was being rudely ignored.
The rest of the discussion ended up being non-related to what we really should have been speaking about.

Funny how that happens isn’t it?


The supervisor in question has a problem.
I find that her behavior can become very erratic when she is uncertain or unable to actually understand a situation and respond correctly to it.  

I have heard of such people referred to as “clueless”.  She’s someone who really doesn’t have a full grasp of most situations and tries to compensate by doing some other form of activity to seem busy.


Perhaps I can start cataloging situations like these using this blog.  


The thoughts are intriguing.  




Just about 10 minutes ago, I was shouting into the phone receiver at my father as I let my anger get the best of me.  I was speaking to him about what I was feeling like doing in relation to the above mentioned job, and was trying to explain what was going on in my every day life.  

I have to admit I feel bad about shouting.  

I did it as an almost instinctive reaction when he interrupted me while I was explaining something.  I think it may have been what happened earlier today that triggered this emotional response.  Just like anything else, I tend to try to take out my frustrations with the world on people nearest to me.    
Regardless of how I felt, he IS my father and is only trying to help me understand a lesson he may have learned in the past, and is simply passing that wisdom on to me.  Perhaps I’m just mad because he’s pointing out a course of action that I should have taken, and I realize what he is saying is true.


As of late I feel that I am not assertive enough in my demeanor in relation to external stimuli.

If an individual is pricked by a needle, pain and an immediate urge to move away from the source of that pain is reactive.
Many find me a convenient target to place their frustrations of their uncertainty on.
I’ve discovered that I react in much less of a spectacular fashion than I once used to in the same situations.



On another note: I sometimes like to pull cards from a tarot deck.  

I like to think of it as oddly comforting.  I’m very superstitious about this deck as I feel that it is fate that makes a person pull a card from the stack in whatever order, for whatever reason.  (And so far the cards I pull usually indicate the actions/events that eventually occur).

So how do I take a reading from tarot?
I sometimes like to pull a random card with a short question posed on my own mind.  At other times I will say the question first and then pull the card, and at other times I simply pull a random card and see what the outcome will be.
The Nine of Hearts seems to be coming out very often.

“Fulfillment”.  

Sometimes it’s inverted, sometimes it’s not (it can mean something or it won’t….it all depends on what I see and feel when I read it), yet how can I receive fulfillment if everything becomes a blood sucking vampire, and I’m the bag of blood that keeps getting filled?

Man you have to love late night typing…some of the weirdest shit seems to come out then doesn’t it?

-Hak